So, how good is your Malay?

Living in Malaysia, where “Bahasa Malaysia” (or is it still “Bahasa Melayu”? I’ve lost track of our government’s terms) is supposedly the official language of the country, majority of us are able to speak and understand this language, at least enough to survive most part of the living.

What it should be like

But at times, I wonder if our command of this language is good enough? Let’s take an example. Read the passage below:

KUALA LUMPUR: Kementerian Sumber Asli dan Alam Sekitar akan mendakwa syarikat pemaju di Tanah Tinggi Lojing, Kelantan di mahkamah minggu depan kerana melanggar syarat Penilaian Kesan Alam Sekitar (EIA).

Setiausaha Parlimen kementerian, Datuk Sazmi Miah, berkata dua kertas siasatan sudah disiapkan dan lima lagi dijangka dapat disiapkan minggu depan.

Katanya, penasihat undang-undang kementerian sudah meneliti kertas siasatan berkenaan dan senarai nama syarikat terbabit akan diumumkan tidak lama lagi.

Source: The Malaysian Bar (random content)

I think most of us are able to understand this passage perfectly well. However…

What it is like a decade ago

During the era of mIRC back in late 90′s, we’ll see typical malay conversation goes like this:

amat: weh, ko nak gi mane?
abu: aku nak gi jenjalan jap
amat: aku nak join bole? bosan seh dok umah
abu: aku ok je, jom ah. aku tunggu kat bus stand tepi jalan cam biasa

It’s a little bit shortened, but if you read it as is you’ll still be able to understand the content.

What it is like now

Apparently, throughout the last 10 years, the malay language have undergo massive transformation, reformation and retardization. Take a look at this passage:

semalam ari ke-2 aq g sangkar ikan ayah sdare aq kat lumut ase xsaba jew bile dpt taw ayah sdare aq dr Kl nak g sane wahaha(aq la pling sewel gumbira dpt mrayap)almaklum la..sik duk terperuk jew kat lam umah..on9!!on9!!on9!!..tade bende lain..da la kje aq nak ganggu org punye kehidupan jew..tp semalam nye hal mmg bez..sblm brtolak tuh..aq pown mula la sebuk kemas umah..yela..nak tinggalkan umah searian..mne x ny..kang umah cam tongkang pecah..lg pnyamuh ske pecah kan..haha..mrepek jew..lpas da abis siap n kemas2 rumah..aq xpkai tudung lg..punya la xaci..dorg kate nak tinggalkan aq..mntang2 aq sibuk2kan dr..tp..aq sempt gak la lari terkedek2 keja dorg..haha..wktu da smpai sne..mak aq la org pertama yg gayat bile tgk bot yg kitwg bkal naiki 2 kecik je..aq pown terkejut gak..sbb bot yg aq nek dlu besar lg dr bot ni..tp tape la..jnji aq dpt naik lg..hehe..mne x ny mak aq gayat..da la nak jln2 atas laut..mmpus la kitrg law bot 2 terbalik kew..ishhh..mak ni..mrepek ke..stabil punya lah..huhu..last2 nya..mak aq da layu dgn pujukan kitrg..so apa lg..dgr jew dy da mgalah..kitrg pown naik la..tp terpkse berulang la coz rmai yg pg time 2..mne x nya..bot pown comil..lalala~

Taken from “percutian ke lumut“

Now tell me if you have some hemorrhage reading this passage?

So deeply “moved”, I’ve decided to try to write an app, imagining what if someone wrote a programming language based on the convention above. Let’s call this language mTard (I think it fits perfectly well). It would look like this: